Facing Forever

-0-0-0- It had been three months.  She died three months ago.  Three months ago, she died.  So, she was dead. He looked at her side of the bed, the place where she lay.  It still smelled like her, had gone undisturbed for as many months.  Not like he slept there, anyway.  Or slept at all.…

The impermanence of dreams

The other night I dreamt of her...my grandmother. It was a vivid dream, and in it I was staying away from home. My grandmother was alive and healthy and I was very much missing her. In the dream there was a sort of longing pervading everything...I wanted so badly to return home and see her…

Comfort and wire cages

Saturday I lay in bed all day struggling for breath, depressed, and wallowing in self-pity. I’m sick.  I’ve been sick for about two weeks.  Bronchitis, I suspect.  Being an asthmatic, I am subject to it a few times a year at least.  Last Sunday’s trip to the ER seemed to be one spoke in the…

My Friend Had Mental Illness and that’s Perfectly OK.

I lost someone today. We weren’t close.  In fact, we only knew each other for about eight days three months ago. I met Carrie in rehab.  I’m not on drugs and neither was she, but in the mental health world, it’s still referred to as such.  After all, people can rehab from lots of things.…

Grief

It hits me like a brick. Not a ton of bricks like the old cliche, but a solitary brick that hits squarely in the center of my chest, knocking the wind from me.  It crumbles on impact.  The dust gets stuck in my throat and I lose the ability to swallow. That’s when the crying…

Early morning

The sun rises on a virgin morning, spilling onto the hard ground burning like your gaze in an instant all that remains of the late night frost-- exposing green grass, black dirt and creepy-crawlies getting up to face the day. Tulips, shaking off the early chill nod lazily as I pull on my coat to…